Dungeons and other dark places
by Lian
Summary: it's funny. i think it is anyway. ron and hermoine and those other two people who hang with draco (hehe) are missing. so what are draco and harry to do?


    "Last year Potter," came a familiar, sinister voice. "Better watch yourself." 
    Harry ignored it. He knew the owner of it and seeing its owner's familiar, pale, incredibly narcissistic expression so early in the year was not welcoming. Unfortunately for him he had to. He realized, to his horror, that he had taken a wrong turn and was walking into a wall. Where was the gang when you needed them and why was he alone in the first place? It was at this point that he wondered if the writer manipulating his life had gone bloody daft. He was about to be insulted first thing in the morning because of some twisted chance of fate. 
    Harry turned to face Malfoy. To his surprise neither of his henchmen were around either. Harry wondered if there was a pattern beginning to arise. 
    "What do you want Malfoy?" he said, very irritated. 
    "A kiss. What do you think Potter?" 
    "I don't know what you're talking about." 
    And he didn't but he had the feeling he was going to be bothered about this anyway. For the love of God where was Hermoine and Ron?! 
    "Sure you do," said Draco. 
    "No I don't," answered Harry. 
    "Yes you do." He was beginning to sound indignant. 
    "No I assure you I do not." 
    "Yes – you do." 
    "No I – " Harry paused. This could go on forever. He was hungry, his so-called friends were missing in action and his archenemy was giving him his you-did-something-unforgivably-ghastly-and-insulting-to-wizard-kind-again look. He always had that look. He needed a new agent who could get him some new facial expressions. Of course he did have a couple others. One was the I'm-in-the-mood-for-blood look and the look-at-my-devastatingly-beautiful-and-flawless-face look. But now we're straying from the subject. 
    "You know what you did Potter and I want you to correct it." 
    "What the bloody hell are you talking about? For all I know _you_ could be _the one doing something wrong_. Where's Ron and Hermoine huh?" 
    "I don't know what you're talking about." 
    Oh I think you do." 
    "No I don't." 
    "Yes you do." 
    "No I don't." 
    "Yes you do." 
    "No I do – " Malfoy paused and the wheels, rusty from much neglect over the summer turned and made painful screeching noises in his empty (but not so empty that there's a lack of wheels) blond head. "Damn you Potter. That's my bit." 
    "I don't see a copyright anywhere." 
    There was another pause. Both realized that absolutely nothing was getting done and both their friends (or in Malfoy's case walking brick walls) were missing. 
    "Are they hidden in the dungeon Malfoy?" Harry asked. 
    "I didn't kidnap your blooming friend Potter. Did you put Crab and Goyle in the dungeon hmm?" 
    "No." 
    "Well me neither." 
    Harry adjusted his position and stared into Draco's face. Bloody hell his eyes had that evil gleam again. Wait, no, that was just the chandelier above their heads. Then what was that look? He decided he did not want know in fear of finding a human in that body. 
    "Then where in hell are they?" Harry said finally.   

    "Where in hell are they?" Hermoine cried, very irritated. She was tied to the dungeon walls beside Ron who was whistling a very annoying tune. "Will you stop that?" she snapped. 
    "What's the magic word?" 
    "NOW!" 
    "No need to get huffy about it." 
    She growled. Ron immediately shut up. Harry must have noticed that they were missing by now. She looked at Crab and Goyle lying unconscious on the floor looking rather unintimidating. She cold only remember falling and then waking up with her hands bound next to Ron who had about the same account in events. What in the world was going on? It couldn't be Draco Malfoy; his two henchmen were here too. Of course he could have finally come out and gone insane which was always a possibility with him. Maybe this was Voldemort's secret plan, kidnap his friend and lure him here. But why was Crab and Goyle here? It didn't really make much sense. Maybe... 
    "I've got it!" she cried. 
    Ron jumped with a start. "Sweet queen mother Hermoine! You nearly gave me a heart attack!" 
    "Sorry," she said with just a hint of annoyance but no trace of remorse anywhere. 
    "So what have you found?" He didn't seem very interested to hear it. 
    "Well," she began, ignoring the fact, "Crab and Goyle fell here by accident. They're not supposed to be here. We are though. We must have fallen at the 
    same time." 
    "We did fall at the same time." 
    "Shut up Ron." 
    Ron gave her the finger, well attempted to but his hands were indisposed. She continued to ignore him. 
    "As I was saying, all this is a plot to lure Harry into Voldemort's evil clutches." 
    "How bloody brilliant. Did you think of that yourself?" 
    Hermoine glared but said nothing. They decided to conserve energy.   
  
  
meanwhile... 
    Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were engaged in a thorough manhunt. In such the rare occasion, both had decided to team up and find their companions. Of course searching for their childhood friends always seemed second to arguing heatedly over very stupid things. They finally found the "secret" entrance [which everybody _but_ them knew about (even Neville Longbottom knew)] to the dungeon. It was conveniently located under Moaning Myrtle's toilet. They descended down. 
    "You first Potter," Draco said. 
    "Oh no you don't. I'm not going to give you the chance to stab me in the back," said Harry. 
    "Oh give me a break Potter. I need you as a shield later. I'm not daft enough to kill you now." 
    Harry glared at him but decided to go first anyway. He decided it showed his immense charity and bravery to do so. Of course to Draco it showed incredible stupidity but he was not complaining. He noticed, while walking behind Harry, that the other wasn't wearing any robes but instead a pair of brown corduroy pants and a green sweater vest. He noted to himself that Potter had a rather attractive butt. Suddenly he slapped himself. 
    "What was that?" Harry said turning around to see what was the matter. 
    "Uh nothing, just thought I felt something on my face," answered Draco. "I must never do that again," he mumbled to himself. 
    "Do what?" asked Harry. 
    There was a long silence. Draco decided he was not going to answer the question. Harry decided that he really did not want to know and in truth he wouldn't have. They continued walking; wands alight, walls crawling with cobwebs and the like. 
    "You know it really wouldn't kill them to clean this place out," said Malfoy while looking at a large spider web above him nervously. "Dark spooky dungeon is so out." 
    "You scared?" asked Harry who was a bit apprehensive about spiders crawling around in his shirt as well but was very good at hiding it. 
    "No," Draco snapped back a bit too quickly. 
    Harry turned to look at him and noted that he looked very cute when he was nervous. Quickly Harry slapped himself. Draco looked at him. 
    "Spider?" he asked. 
    "Yeah," Harry mumbled. 
    This was ridiculous. One stroll down a dark dungeon (not a place to go on your first date) could not make all feelings of spite and animosity fade. Of course he hadn't ever really hated the guy. They were just never "on the same page" as one would say. He decided Draco was probably not even stressing about it. His opinions of him must be set in stone already by now. Harry on the other hand had always been a bit shaky when it came to hating anyone truly (except for maybe Lord Voldemort). But contrary to what he thought, Draco Malfoy was having his doubts as well. Suddenly there was the sound of rocks shifting under their feet and arrows flew from the walls towards them. 
    "Watch out!" Draco yelled and grabbed Harry flinging him to the floor. Once the arrows had ceased fire, both stared at each other awkwardly. That was when Draco realized he was on top of Harry. It wasn't all that uncomfortable really. They quickly jumped up and brushed their persons off as though the other could possibly carry a horrible disease liable to eat away at their clothing and get to them from the outside. Draco reached down and pulled an arrow out of his bum only to find that the "sharp point" was merely a rubber sucker do-hickey. He looked rather peeved. 
    "What kind of sick joke is this?" he asked out loud to no one in particular. Harry had begun laughing very hard and rolling around on the floor despite it's unkempt conditions. 
    "And what is so funny?" Draco said indignantly. 
    Finally Harry regained control and stood. 
    "It got you on the back of the head too you know," was all he had to say. 
    Draco turned nearly taking Harry's eye out. He quickly reached to make sure his glasses were still intact. One shouldn't turn so rapidly when they have long objects attached to the backs of their heads. 
    "Thank you," he said in a rather unforgiving manner. 
    "Moving on then," said Harry still muffling spurts of giggles. The whole thing was quite funny. He was glad it wasn't real arrows though. He wondered what kind of gags they would be faced with next and why Malfoy had saved him. This would all make for good conversation later, if they lived through it of course.   

~~~~~~
    A hooded figure entered and tied Crab and Goyle to the wall. He seemed pretty strong to be able to do it all on his own. Hermoine looked and wondered why he was so short. 
    "Can you let us go please?" she asked. 
    Ron rolled his eyes. Really, if it were that easy they would have been free hours ago. The figure turned and looked at them. Both swallowed and looked rather nervously at the figure. It came closer to them and then stopped. Then in a low scratchy voice he said, "I'll let you go as soon as Harry Potter arrives." 
    "So it is a trick to lure in Harry!" cried Hermoine triumphantly. 
    "Oh don't be so satisfied with yourself Hermoine. Anyone could have figured that out. You just said it first." 
    She glared at Ron. "Oh really? Well I haven't seen you cough up any brilliant plans lately." 
    Ron glared. "I have, you just always beat me to it. Besides, remember my brilliant game of chess back in first year?" 
    "That was six years ago." 
    Before Ron could make a counter remark the voice of the figure cut in. 
    "Hey you two, not on my time." 
    Then it left. 
    Ron and Hermoine glared at each other. "Besides, who's prefect here?" said Hermoine. 
    "I still say Harry should have been made prefect," said Ron. 
    "Oh Harry's far to scatter brained." 
    "We all are compared to you," Ron attempted to say sarcastically. 
    "Was that a compliment?" 
    Ron turned red. "NO!" 
    "Oh I think it was." She was smiling very smugly to herself now. 
    "No it was not. You're delusional woman!" He wiggled in his shackles but stopped knowing how pointless it all was. He was really going to have to talk to the administrators about making the dungeon shackles more comfortable. 
    "Oh stop making all that noise," Hermoine snapped. "You're really far more adorable when you're pouting." 
    Ron brightened. "Really?" he said making his sly expression. 
    The other quickly realized her mistake. "Oh you take me far too seriously." It was Ron's turn to smirk now. "So you think I'm cute huh?" 
    She was growing very red. "No, actually I found you to resemble a speckled radish." 
    Ron laughed. "I've never heard that one before. Come now I know you still have feelings for me." 
    Hermoine glared at him. "That was way back in fifth year Ron. I am over you." 
    "Once you've gone Weasley you can never go back babe." 
    She was absolutely disgusted. "Oh get over yourself." Yet she was blushing intensely. 
    "Any redder and you'll be violet Hermoine darling." 
    This only made her redder which in turn did make her resemble a plum in color and shape due to the puffed effect of her cheeks. "I'll have you know that even if you were the last being on earth, wizard or muggle, I wouldn't shag you and have your redhead children." 
    Ron pouted. "Now let's not get nasty." He made a tut-tut sound. "Besides, who'd want to have a high maintenance girl like you?" 
    "I am not high maintenance!" 
    There was laughter from the other. "Yes you are." 
    "No I'm not." 
    "Yes you are." Ron was trying to be as frank as possible. 
    "NO I'M NOT!" 
    There was more laughter. 
    "You know you're cute when you're angry." There was a devilish gleam in his eyes. 
    "Stop getting fresh with me," she snapped trying to hide her pleasure in the comment. 
    "I did miss your company Ms. Granger." 
    She tried to ignore him but in truth she wasn't sure why they'd broken up and she would gladly have gone out with him again. Then when she was sure he couldn't hear her she whispered, "I did too."   

    While Ron and Hermoine were having their lovely realization of each other's feelings, Harry and Draco were having on as well. A rather predictable story isn't it? 
    "Why did you save me?" Harry asked. 
    Draco looked at him. "There was hardly any saving needed Potter," he said. 
    "You know what I mean." It was really racking his brain. 
    "It was just a momentary lapse of sanity." 
    Harry did not believe him and he knew that he didn't either. He remembered in sixth year when Draco had been captured, Harry had saved him even though he was apprehensive to do so in fear of what the individual being saved would say. Was he just repaying the favor? And why was he always so conscientious about what Draco Malfoy would say or even what he thought? It hardly seemed natural or worth the trouble. He also remembered when Draco had disobeyed orders and saved Harry and his friends. Did that make him a better person? Perhaps Draco Malfoy was truly on the side of good. That didn't seem very likely. And yet... 
    "I guess I owe you now," Harry said. 
    "You were never in real danger you twit," answered the other. Harry sighed. There was no trying to be sincere with this guy. "But if you insist." 
    Harry brightened and a smile dazzled his face. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all. Suddenly everything went dark. "What happened?" asked Harry, startled. 
    "I don't know. The wands went out," answered Draco. 
    They continued walking forward when suddenly there was a crashing sound. Draco jumped and grabbed for the nearest thing which just happened to be Harry's arm. Realizing his error he immediately removed it feeling very embarrassed. He expected to hear a taunt or some sort of "witty" remark but none came. Perhaps he was too distracted, with what he did not know. They continued walking forward, groping around in the darkness for some sort of anchor or dangerous peril lurking ahead. A light began to advance towards them. They stopped and waited for it to near ready with their wants though they seemed on the fix at the moment. A very beautiful woman in gold appeared. She looked a bit spooky. 
    "Hello," she said. 
    "Hi," chorused the two boys. 
    "You are far from home. What are you doing here?" 
    The two looked at each other. 
    "We're looking for our friends," said Harry. 
    "You will not find your friends here," answered the woman. 
    "Aren't they in the dungeon?" asked Draco. 
    "You are no longer at Hogwarts. 
    The two boys jumped in surprise. 
    "What?!" cried Draco. 
    "You have stumbled onto the netherworld." 
    "The bloody hell?" Harry cried. This adventure just kept getting weirder and weirder. Both boys looked at her as though she was crazy. 
    "Is it always this dark in the netherworld?" asked Draco. 
    "The living are blind to the world of the dead," said the woman. 
    "Then how come we can see you?" Harry asked. 
    "I am Persaphone and I dwell in the world of the living. You must leave here." 
    They couldn't have agreed more. They moved to leave. 
    "Wait," said Draco suddenly. 
    "Yes?" asked Persaphone. 
    Harry looked at him. He looked a bit nervous but their only light was the Persaphone's glow and that couldn't be too reliable. 
    "Do you know a Lucius Malfoy?" 
    Harry blinked. That's right, Lucius Malfoy was dead. He'd died in sixth year when disobeying Voldemort's orders to kill his son. It had actually been Harry, Ron, and Hermoine's faults actually. They were the ones that Draco had let go. 
    "Yes I do." 
    Draco seemed to shrink and he looked frightened. Harry wanted to comfort him but he didn't know if it was appropriate or even if he had permission to. Draco wanted to know how his father was but he was afraid of the answer. He knew that his father had been a bad person but even the bad could redeem themselves, right? 
    "How – how is he?" he finally choked out. 
    "His punishment is fitting to his crime." 
    Draco was not surprised but it made him sad. He had hoped but such a hope was a folly. He felt a firm grip on his shoulder and knew it to be Harry's though he'd never felt it before. Harry's parents were in heaven. He did not have to worry about them but Lucius could only blame himself for where he had ended up. 
    "Are you ok?" Harry said finally. The statement seemed a bit redundant. 
    "No," was the answer, "but I'll get over it." 
    Would he really? 
    Persaphone led them out of the darkness and suddenly their wands flickered back to life. Before them was the entrance to the cell where their companions were being kept. They walked through it and were blinded by the light.   

~~~~~~~
    "Hermoine look!" Ron cried. 
    Crab and Goyle began to stir. They sure were heavy sleepers. They missed the whole story. 
    "Oh no, Crab and Goyle are awake," she said. 
__     Boy, and they say I'm thick, Ron thought to himself. He attempted to point towards the entrance but it was useless since his arms were shackled above his head. Hermoine looked to the entrance anyway and saw a disheveled Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy walk in holding each other's hands. The two nearly died of shock to see such a sight. 
    "Why are you two holding hands?" Hermoine asked rather curtly. 
    Harry and Draco looked down and immediately separated. How mortifying. They must have been holding hands on their way out of the underworld so as to keep together. It was not what it seemed, or was it? Ron decided that it was a bad time to get into it. 
    "Never mind that. Get us out of here before the hooded bloke comes back." 
    "Don't boss me around Weasley," Draco snapped moving to unshackle Crab and Goyle who were looking very dazed and confused. 
    Ron scowled but it was far too cross being in his cramped position to make any witty remarks. Harry undid their bondage as well as Draco for Crab and Goyle but before they could make a hasty retreat the cloaked figure appeared. 
    "Well hello there," Ron said cheerfully, but in his mind planning for the worst. He wished he had his wand with him. 
    "Hello Harry Potter," said the figure. It removed his hood and the company watched and waited thinking they were going to find a hideous face beneath but found instead a short slightly pimply first year student. That was when Hermoine realized that there was a Gryffindor emblem on his robes. She really killed herself for being so thick. 
    "What the bloody hell?" Draco cried. 
    "Who's he?" Crab asked. 
    "Should we beat him up?" Goyle said. 
    "Maybe," Draco answered. 
    "I'm Syrus Blake and I'm your biggest fan Harry Potter." 
    Harry was incredibly frightened. 
    "If you're my fan then why did you kidnap my friends?" 
    "And mine," added Draco. 
    "Well I wanted to get you alone." 
    "That didn't work out now did it?" Ron mumbled then looked around realizing he'd said it out loud. 
    "I wasn't expecting them to fall through," said Syrus pointing to Crab ad Goyle. 
    "It was an accident honest," the two said to their "leader". 
    "Well now you have me. Can we go now?" Harry asked impatiently. He must have missed all of his morning classes by now. He didn't want to know what Snape had to say about all of this. 
    "No," said Syrus. 
    "Why not?" 
    "Because I want you to do some things Harry." 
    Harry felt somehow violated when the boy used his name. 
    "What kind of stuff?" asked Harry. 
    Suddenly Syrus said a strange word and Harry found himself in a cage. 
    "Hey!" Harry cried and grabbed at the bars but they would not budge. 
    "I want you to stay there and be my personal man slave forever!" he cried later inserting an evil cackle after much pondering. None found this amusing or funny. 
    "He's bonkers!" Ron said. 
    "Mentally unstable for sure," added Hermoine. 
    "Oh for Christ sake don't just stand there!" Draco yelled and flashed a spell at Syrus. It didn't work. "What?" he mumbled looking at his wand and beating it a bit against his leg. It didn't make it any more effective against the boy but it gave him a bit of a shock. 
    "My brother gave me protection," said Syrus sounding very proud of himself at that point. 
    None waited to know who his brother was. Crab, seeing an opening, ran headfirst into Syrus Blake and Goyle wrestled him to the floor. They grabbed his want and threw it at Draco who fumbled before dropping it on his toe. 
    "I wasn't ready for that," said Draco to his defense. All nodded in a cynical sort of way. "Well done," he said after picking up the wand properly and inspecting it for any funny places. He had probably been secretly whispering directions to the two when Syrus was talking. It's funny how villains tend to go off on long monologues about their brilliant plans. They tied Syrus up and released Harry. Then they all turned Syrus in to Professor Dumbledore who then had him sent to a nice mental institution where he would get help for his unhealthy obsession and perhaps get him a few nice, effective tranquilizers. He called in Harry and Draco after this was done and had a lovely chat with them. 
    "You seem to have found the door to the underworld," he said. 
    The two boys looked at each other. 
    "Yes we have," Draco said. 
    "Hmm... well I would like it if your boys didn't tell anyone." 
    "Why not?" Harry asked. 
    "Hogwarts has many secrets not meant to be known," was all the professor said. 
    Harry and Draco walked out of his office more confused then when they went in. There were more secrets about Hogwarts that they didn't know about? They stood at the exit for a long time knowing their friends would be outside waiting for them. 
    "So..." Harry started to say. 
    Draco looked at him and then sighed heavily. "You want to go for a drink some time Harry?" he asked trying to be as casual as possible. 
    "Harry smiled. "Yeah." They walked out hand in hand quite satisfied. Neither Ron, Hermoine, nor Crab and Goyle were outside waiting for them.   

~~~~~~~
    "So what do you say Hermoine?" 
    The other smiled. It was worth a try (or second one). 
    "Welcome back." 
    Then Ron Weasley took Hermoine Granger into his arms and they embraced in a nice clinch and snogging that swept her off her feet. 
    


End file.
